Written by @RWhiteAuthor
What a crazy trip it has been. I have not blogged in a while, as my schedule has gotten a bit crazy. Although, that isn’t even the icing on the cake. Where do I begin? My blog has been blocked from Facebook. My fictional blog is fake news to some authors. who knew right? I have A’s in school, oh yeah I am in college at SNHU for a BA in Creative Writing and English. Super excited to be a college boy again. My websites were hacked, and completely blocked, so I chose to change server hosts, I lost everything. I think this is like the 5th time everything was deleted. Thankfully I had an old backup for some content. I did a new backup, and plan to do so again this week. I won’t have it happen again.
Over the past couple of months, I have been dealing with a lot. My sister was admitted to the hospital on March 16th with severe endocarditis, Moraxella pneumonia, and MRSA Staph Aureus. She was pulling through, pretty good after a long two weeks on a ventilator, however, on April 20th, two days before her 38th birthday, her Aortic valve broke, and her organs shut down. She passed away at 6 PM. As her brother, I stepped into the role of taking care of all her affairs, preparing the funeral, when we can hold it, her cremation, and following her wishes. I think with work, school, and all of the fundraising, and prepping. I have not even had the time to break down and grieve properly. It kind of sucks really, I need a good cry. I mean I lost my baby sister, why haven’t I broke down yet?
I have her wishes almost complete. She wanted the ones that loved her to have a dolphin necklace with her ashes, and her three daughters to have something unique. I did pretty well. I found them a 5 dolphin circle necklace, and the rest of us have single dolphins with her birthstone. Her friends, just have a plain dolphin and the guys a simple black one. Now to carry out her final wish.
Bring the rest of her ashes to the ocean, and spread them with the dolphins. I have made her a promise, that I will get her there no matter what it takes. For now, she has a little spot on my bookshelf that she calls home, to watch over me, as I write, study and take care of my dad. I can’t complain really, I am blessed to have her with me always. I miss her more each day. It has been a long crazy trip. like a bad mushroom trip. Every time one of her girl’s breakdown, it melts my heart. I can’t seem to shake the tears when I see them lose it. I feel terrible for them. They just reconnected for the most part, and just when Jen, was ready to be sober. She lost the battle before it could even begin.
My mom and I are prepping a journal to share on her website, we are creating to help moms stay sober the JLWFAddictionRecovery.org. When it is finished we plan to share it on her website as a tool for women to learn from Jen’s life and last few weeks here on earth. I think it will be a perfect final tribute to her. What are your thoughts? Share them in the comments. What else could we do to start awareness? We have a store already set up, you can visit here, and a mighty network, we have started. A social network, dedicated to sobriety. You can check that out here.
Just a reminder, Shattered Glass poetry talks about addiction and the struggle with it.
P.S. If you can donate to our funeral costs, here is her fundraiser link on Facebook.